learning in louisiana

In the 13 years I have lived in louisiana i have learned many valuable things. Here are some of them that I can think of off the top of my head.

the first and most valuable lesson is this
1.) an umbrella is your most important accessory - carry it with you always if you cant find one small enough for your purse, sachel, backback, manpurse etc get a bigger bag. :)

2.) don't count on the weather being the same for more than 10 minutes. the weather here in louisiana is more bipolar than i am. If you don't like it wait 10 minutes it will change.

3.) there are actually only 3 seasons, hot hotter and hot as hell (or OMG!! I think I am melting) the 4th season winter is only actually about 2 days long and not worth naming.

4.)if it rains for less than 10 minutes the air will only get muggier making it seem even hotter.

5.) you actually can breathe water, sortof, its called humidity and it is thick and hard to breathe.

6.) there is a festival for everything, if there isn't a festival in your town on any given weekend just find a neigboring town, there will be

7.)Laissez les bons temps rouler is the state phrase and one of the first things a person learns to say in louisiana

8.) Louisiana is practically its own country. the culture is different than the rest of the United states.

how?

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how the hell did they get that up there? and i thought i was a bad driver

ouch :P

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ouch somebody is obviously trying to say something




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LOL would probably make more sense to me if it hadnt been more than 20 years since i played zelda

PMS

LOL someone posted this and it seriously tickled my funny bone ,, could be cause i am currently having PMS myself... the last one fits


13 Things PMS Stands For

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift
.........
3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8.. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one:

13. Potential Murder Suspect

second best husband by penny jordan

Book review, just because I can. I am currently trying to read my way through my very large collection of books. Some will go on ebay because I just plain didnt like it and some because I've outgrown. Others will stay in my collection and just be counted.

just last night I finished reading Second-Best husband by Penny Jordan.
Apparently I havent completely outgrown the romance genre. Penny wrote a good story here. Found myself laughing at main characters confusion over the feelings the male lead evoked in her. the characters were written in such a manner that I felt emotions while reading. the main male character often gave me a sense that he knew something that the female didnt.

This one will be kept.
count so far --- 1 ebay --- 1 kept

dead parrot

LOL gotta love humor, people send my funny shit in my email all the time todays bust a gut laugh was from this one. what a round about way to get to the point






The Dead Parrot

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead".

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Senor, that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor . He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"

"Yes, Senor Rod."

"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Rod."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"

"Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom Wangi Exhibition Grade Stock.

SILENCE... LONG SILENCE...VERY LONG SILENCE.

"Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep shit."

LOL

got this in my email and loved it. As someone who's not overly fond of dogs (still a little leery of anything than barks and bites) the first one is my most favorite.
Apparently these are excerpts from some UK classifieds:





You have to appreciate British humor!


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!.

FREE PUPPIES.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel.
1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 GAY bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.


**** And the WINNER is… ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

And by the way: Statement of the Century
From the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker, Billy Connolly:
"If women are so bloody perfect at multi-tasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"