Thursday, February 10, 2011

Truths for Mature humans

i found this on the internet ( )and had to laugh and make a few of my own comments about the truth of it :)

1. i think part of a best friend's should be to immediately clear you computer history if you dies

2. nothing sucks more than that moment during and argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. i totally take back all those times i didn't want to nap when i was younger ( i love a good nap nowadays, and will take one when i can including while on city bus zzzz)

4.there is a great need for a sarcasm font

5. how the hell are you suppose to fold a fitted sheet? ( i quit even trying wadding has worked for 36 years and will continue to work well for my need :P)

6. was learning cursive really necessary? (my writing is not legible either way)

7 map quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure i know how to get out of my neighborhood (the creator has obviously never met my boyfriend)

8. obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. i cant remember the last time i wasn't at least kind of tired ( i may have been a toddler at the time)

10. bad decisions make good stories (not really, they make hilarious stories LOL)

11. you never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (usually strikes when i realize that my to do list for the next hour is long enough to take me all year and i just say fuck it )

12. can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after blue ray? i don't want to have to restart my collection ... again

13. i'm always slightly terrified when i exit out of word and it asks me if i want to say any changes to my ten- page technical report that i swear i did not make any change to.. (this is where i'm going CHANGES? WHAT CHANGES?)

14. "do not machine wash or tumble dry" means i will never wash this - ever ( is it sad that i outgrew that and do not machine wash is not ignore in favor of " fuck it i'm gonna chuck it in anyway" :P)

15. i hate when i just miss a call by the last rig (hello? Hello? Fuck it!), but when i immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. what did you do after i didn't answer? drop the phone and run away? (phone tag is a whole new level of fun now that we have voice mail and text

16 i hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. what a waste

17. i keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so i know not to answer to answer when they call. (isn't that what the caller ID is for?)

18. i think the freezer deserves a light as well

19. i disagree with kay jewelers. i would bet on any given friday or saturday night more kisses begin with miller lite than kay ( rum is a good choice to)

20. i wish google maps had an "avoid ghetto" routing option. (LOL i can find ghetto on my own thank you)

21. sometimes, i'll watch a movie that i watched when i was younger and suddenly realize i had no idea what the heck was going on when i first saw it. (happpens with music too )

22. i would rather try to carry 10 overloaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. the only time i look forward to a red light is when i'm trying to finish a text.

24. i have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. (hence a few extra pounds have made it onto my person)

25. how many times is it appropriate to say "what?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? (jacob is good for about 3 whats before he gets pissed)

26. i love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. stay strong, brothers and sisters

27. shirts get dirty. underwear gets dirty. pants? pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year? ( its amazing middle schoolers are smarter than i was at that age but by the time they graduate high school they cant even tie their own shoes. WTF?)

29. there's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning you chair back a little too far. ( goes hand in hand with the feeling you get when you lean forward in a chair with wheels and the floor says hello)

30. as a driver i hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian i hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, i always hate bicyclists. (AMEN)

31. sometimes i'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey - but i'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 second, eyes closed, first time, every time! (except my boyfriend who can barely find the snooze button with his eyes open, usually doesn't find the damn button till he has to lean out of bed cause he knocked it off the night stand for the third time)

1 comment:

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