Saturday, December 31, 2011

a stitchers blog world

:) so I was looking at various blog of cross stitchers and it looks like I just might half to participate in various activities just for the fun of it including :

Daffycat's TUSAL -- i did see a few entries from last year that had some real cool works going the dates for the posts for this one are the new moon: which fall on

January 23
February 21
March 22
April 21
May 20
June 19
July 19
August 17
September 16
October 15
November 13
December 13

I'm also thinking of joining Measli's 2012 WIPocalypse, I want to see if I can actually finish several of my current projects the posting dates for this one is the full moon:

full moon dates:
Full moon dates for 2012:
January 9
February 7
March 8
April 6
May 5
June 4
July 3
August 1
August 31
September 29
October 29
November 28
December 28

I've also found a giveway ... which looks really awesome : here's a link to the give-away if anyone is interested its on a blogsite called reading and stitching, and whoo boy I thought that I had a big stash of cross stitch stuff :) now I don't feel as hoardy

Saturday, December 24, 2011


:) so this year I am gonna try to do daffycat's tusal. It'll give me a way to share my cross stitch projects since no one I know actually cross stitches.

the new moon dates(just so I can remember when to make my posts)

January 23
February 21
March 22
April 21
May 20
June 19
July 19
August 17
September 16
October 15
November 13
December 13

this is my start project :) I actually have 3 that I'm working on but at this moment I'm about half way done with this pink rose in a vase, I hope to finish it before I move onto one of the others

Monday, November 14, 2011

100 funny internet onliners

Found this on a site called and laughed hysterically so thought I'd share it with my imaginary readers

TOP 100 funniest one-liners on the internet!

1 Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2 I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

3 I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

4 Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

5 Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

6 We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

7 Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

8 The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

9 Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

10 If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

11 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

12 We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

13 War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

14 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

15 Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

16 Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

17 My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

18 Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

19 The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

20 Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

21 Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

22 If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...

23 To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

24 If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

25 If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

26 If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

27 Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

28 How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

29 A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

30 Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

31 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

32 A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

33 I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

34 Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

35 Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

36 I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian

37 A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

38 I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

39 I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on I said "Implants?"

40 The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

41 Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

42 The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

43 God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

44 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

45 Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

46 Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

47 Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

48 Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

49 Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

50 You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

51 The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

52 A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

53 The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

54 Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

55 Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

56 It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

57 Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

58 Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

59 He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

60 A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

61 We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

62 Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

63 My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

64 Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

65 When in doubt, mumble.

66 I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

67 I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

68 Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

69 A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

70 Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

71 Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

72 My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

73 Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

74 Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

75 I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

76 I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

77 I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.

78 I always take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

79 Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

80 There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

81 I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

82 You're never too old to learn something stupid.

83 When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

84 You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

85 I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

86 Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

87 Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

88 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

89 To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

90 A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

91 Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

92 A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

93 If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?

94 Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.

95 If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

96 A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

97Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."

98 Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.

99 If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

100 Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

epidemic of stupidity

I swear stupidity is an epidemic and a highly contagious one at that. the end of the world isnt gonna be caused by war,disease, aliens or zombies it will be stupidity that causes it. I had to laugh at work today cause the manager told me that their was alot of mental retardation at work and that I needed to compensate for it. I told her that i shouldnt have to compensate for people that outrank me at work. I mean really if you are management, even if its only a night manager, should i really have to correct your work? A little common sense in the work force couldnt possibly be a bad thing, its bad enough i have to deal with stupidity just walking down the street but at work too? It amazes me how arrogant americans can be with thinking that they are all that when they can't even do the simplest things without people having to compensate, redo or correct them. Sometimes people try to tell me its laziness but is it really laziness if you do twice the work or walk farther just to do it wrong? when i'm being lazy i try to do the quickest and closest thing or way so that i don't have to walk farther or work harder. really people stupidity needs to have something done about it,, maybe mandatory sterilization for people that show absolutely no common sense? a new drug to make people use their brain?

Okay irritated rant over... :P

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

random thoughts

Sometimes i wonder exactly why my brain works the way it does? for example As I'm taking my shower tonight I find myself wondering about if the earth stopped spinning? We all have been told that gravity is what holds everything on the surface of the earth, but would really happen if it stopped spinning? We know that everything would leave the surface of the earth and fly into space but would it be a slow fly away? would we all be flailing around trying to land back on the earth or grab hold of something till we suffocated in the upper atmosphere before entering outerspace? Or would it be a quick fling giving us no time to really know completely what is going on? If it was quick like that would we suffocate before space or make it through only to implode in the vacuum of space?

then I find myself wondering which would be more tramatic? would billions of people find themselves waiting to be sorted in the afterlife while flailing away and holding our throats and chests because our last moments are remembering the slow death? Or waiting to be sorted while being confused from the suddenness of a quick flight through the sky and space?

I'm telling you something is just not right in my head. :P

Friday, October 21, 2011

Viking Flame review

I just finished reading "viking flame" by Ashland price. this book was originally bought during my viking/scottish book stage. I do remember that ashland price was one of my favorite authors during that phase so when I picked up the book I was looking forward to reading it, what i didnt remember was that it was a sequel to a previous book written. so next I will have to read the previous book just because I prefer to read series together. but anyway on the the book.

Viking Flame was a well written and engaging story. I enjoyed the characters, they grabbed my and I felt what they felt. The female character had a major dilema, her parents had the guy who they thought she should marry who happened to be a erse soldier for the King and then she had the viking she liked who happened to be half erse and trying to settle into ireland in a peaceful manner. Of course when the 2 guys met all hell broke loose. Eventually things worked out in a happy ending (of course since it was a romance novel). but there was enough angst and bad things before the end to get my attention and keep it. I tend to like a little violence or angst in my stories when they aren't paranormal stories.

This book will go into the keep category. next I will have to read the book that this was the sequel to. I think I vaguely remember the story, but we'll see.


keep -- 4 sell -- 1

hmmm.. the collection of books isnt really getting smaller yet?

Friday, September 23, 2011

Diabolo manga

so I just finished reading the first volume of a manga called Diabolo. It was pretty good I had forgotten that I even had it which is a shame because the manga publisher that put it out Tokyopop went out of business.

The premise of the story is that Devil offer deal to children and teens. Its pretty much a trick because when they turn 17 whatever powers they gain grows but they start to go crazy and by 18 basically become monsters and psychopaths. the story revolves around two childhood friends Ren and Rai who do the ritual to save Ren's cousin, the cousin disappears and the two are blamed for killing her, they are separated but find each other after they turn 17. They work together to try to find ren's cousin and to stop others who have fallen for the trick and made the deal. I'm not sure if they are trying to stop others from becoming monsters because they are genuinely good people or if they are doing it to spite the devils that tricked them as children. the first volume contains 3 different stories. I found the art work and story line very good. -- here is a link to a site talking about the manga

I hope that the manga will be picked up by another publishing company now that tokypop has gone under, meanwhile I think i will try to find the volumes that did get published.. here I come

totals so far

keep -- 3 sell --- 1

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Random google

I tend to enjoy alotof supernatural entertainments. Most of the books I read, movies i watch and tv I enjoy tend to me about things that go bump. so I just randomly decided to google the question "if you have sex with a werewolf is it beastiality" don't ask cause sometimes my brain scares me..

and this had one of my favorite answers in it its the second one -- the bit about it also being feeding time if the werewolf is in wolf form :P

although some of the answers are kinda funny,, and the fact that other people think about this weird shit kinda makes me feel better about the fact my weird ass mind thought about it.

LOL this one
--- " No, having sex with a werewolf in its human form is not bestiality because it is a human in that stage; however if you had sex with a werewolf in wolf form, then it would be bestiality. Although I do not think that anyone would have sex with a werewolf in wolf form, especially seeing as some werewolves aren't interested in something as mundane as sex.

^^^ Actually we do, just not with the ferals

Hey I love Sex and yeah before I was a werewolf i slept with on in his wolf form It was awesome ~Blood-Moon`

....As an aside, if you sleep with one during your period, you may come away with REALLY hairy legs, if you know what I mean. It is a viral infection spread through the blood by contact with ANY bodily fluid from said beastie. Also, avoid the temptaion to do it 'doggiestyle' the words of the old ones, "Never moon a werewolf". ;) "

Never moon a werewolf --- amen to that cause that just seems like a invitation to dinner to me

And ok Oh God people are really weird -- cause this was in the same search and I'm not sure whether to laugh or run screaming from the room and this site has a picture of the actual product can I just say ewww gross!!!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Cage of Eden by Yoshinobu Yamada

this week I read and am reviewing a manga called Cage of Eden by Yoshinobu Yamada. the manga is rated 16+ so definately not for younger children. I am undecided on if I liked it or not, I didnt hate it but it was not my favorite manga. the story line is that a group of high school students from japan while on an airplane coming back from their class trip crash. Turns out the island is inhabited by animals that should be extinct,and most of the students have disappeared. the story seemed alot like a cross between jurassic park and Lost to me but wasnt too bad. the art was good though, even though it had the required panty shots for the teenage boys reading. Unfortunately alot of the genres I enjoy often are more geared towards the male audience. There is one character that I am convinced is gonna turn out to be a bad guy because of the way he's drawn and I am interested to see if I am correct. I will probably wait till the second volume comes out before deciding for sure whether i like it or not, so for now I will keep it in the keep section.

count so far

keep 2 sell 1

Friday, August 19, 2011

learning in louisiana

In the 13 years I have lived in louisiana i have learned many valuable things. Here are some of them that I can think of off the top of my head.

the first and most valuable lesson is this
1.) an umbrella is your most important accessory - carry it with you always if you cant find one small enough for your purse, sachel, backback, manpurse etc get a bigger bag. :)

2.) don't count on the weather being the same for more than 10 minutes. the weather here in louisiana is more bipolar than i am. If you don't like it wait 10 minutes it will change.

3.) there are actually only 3 seasons, hot hotter and hot as hell (or OMG!! I think I am melting) the 4th season winter is only actually about 2 days long and not worth naming.

4.)if it rains for less than 10 minutes the air will only get muggier making it seem even hotter.

5.) you actually can breathe water, sortof, its called humidity and it is thick and hard to breathe.

6.) there is a festival for everything, if there isn't a festival in your town on any given weekend just find a neigboring town, there will be

7.)Laissez les bons temps rouler is the state phrase and one of the first things a person learns to say in louisiana

8.) Louisiana is practically its own country. the culture is different than the rest of the United states.

Thursday, August 11, 2011


epic fail photos - Trailer FAIL
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how the hell did they get that up there? and i thought i was a bad driver

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

ouch :P

funny facebook fails - Oh Snap! #28
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ouch somebody is obviously trying to say something

epic fail photos - Crazy Things Parents Say: Right for all the Wrong Reasons
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LOL would probably make more sense to me if it hadnt been more than 20 years since i played zelda

Monday, July 18, 2011


LOL someone posted this and it seriously tickled my funny bone ,, could be cause i am currently having PMS myself... the last one fits

13 Things PMS Stands For

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8.. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one:

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Saturday, July 16, 2011

second best husband by penny jordan

Book review, just because I can. I am currently trying to read my way through my very large collection of books. Some will go on ebay because I just plain didnt like it and some because I've outgrown. Others will stay in my collection and just be counted.

just last night I finished reading Second-Best husband by Penny Jordan.
Apparently I havent completely outgrown the romance genre. Penny wrote a good story here. Found myself laughing at main characters confusion over the feelings the male lead evoked in her. the characters were written in such a manner that I felt emotions while reading. the main male character often gave me a sense that he knew something that the female didnt.

This one will be kept.
count so far --- 1 ebay --- 1 kept

Thursday, July 14, 2011

dead parrot

LOL gotta love humor, people send my funny shit in my email all the time todays bust a gut laugh was from this one. what a round about way to get to the point

The Dead Parrot

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead".

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Senor, that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor . He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"

"Yes, Senor Rod."

"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Rod."


"Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom Wangi Exhibition Grade Stock.


"Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep shit."

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


got this in my email and loved it. As someone who's not overly fond of dogs (still a little leery of anything than barks and bites) the first one is my most favorite.
Apparently these are excerpts from some UK classifieds:

You have to appreciate British humor!

8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.

1/2 Cocker Spaniel.
1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

Also 1 GAY bull for sale.

Must sell washer and dryer £100.

Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is… ****

Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

And by the way: Statement of the Century
From the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker, Billy Connolly:
"If women are so bloody perfect at multi-tasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"

Monday, July 11, 2011


epic fail photos - Probably Bad News: Lofficer, I'm Ost
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LOL someone should have probably thought that out beforehand


So I've decided to read my way thru my book collection. To anyone who has seen my collection yes I realize that it will take me forever. :) I own alot of books, probably in the thousands. I've been reading and collecting since I was in highschool.
Since I'm bored i thought I'd review some of the books as i read them and decide what to do. Some of the ones that I've outgrown or just dont like (I havent even read all them cause I tend to buy in bulk) :) some I will sell on ebay and most will be kept.I will be using this as a way to actually count my books. :) Last time i counted like 6 or 7 years ago i had over 3000 books, wonder how much they have multiplied?

First book: Relative attraction by celia Scott.
This book was one of the harlequin romance books that I enjoyed as a teenager.
The writing was ok but I just had trouble getting into the book this time. The characters did not really reach out and grab me. I didnt really feel the emotions of the characters. Found it to be a little dry. This ended up being one for ebay.

count: 1 - ebay

anyone interested in seeing what i have in ebay -

Wednesday, June 29, 2011


epic fail photos - Cash Register FAIL
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too damn funny wonder what they were buying that was labeled that

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


Bwaahahaha this woman sure took care of that rude man,,, while being polite.

As reported by the San Jose Mercury News:

During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was cancelled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be first class."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?" Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.
"May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, "F**k you." Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."
The man retreated as the people in the terminal applauded loudly. Although the flight was cancelled and people were late, they were no longer angry at United.


Last updated Wednesday, March 22, 1996
Jonathan Dufour (


epic fail photos - Warning Sign FAIL
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and i thought i was directionally challenged

Louisiana weather

A random weather rant out of frustration. the weather here in louisiana usually will go from rain to steaming humidity ever few minutes and everyone knows it. Usually if its raining and you need to do something just wait a few minutes and voila sunshine. So of course I needed to go to the store and it was raining but i didnt want to get wet so i waited. And waited and waited. turns out it was one of the days where it starts raining and just rains all fucking day. so I had to walk the block to the store in the rain. luckily for a change no one tried to splash me on purpose, the drainage here in louisiana is bad enough without people intentionally trying to wet me.. blah...
now i fill a little better:P

Saturday, June 18, 2011

useful military warnings

I saw this somewhere and had to laugh ,,, and then share it, cause it reminds me of the times where Ive read stupid and obvious warning labels and wondered who would do something that would make said warning label necessary..

Useful Military Warnings

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S. Army

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A. Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal

"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance

Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - Col. David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once." - Anon

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Army Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies

(And lastly)

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." -

U.S.A. Ammo Troop

Monday, May 2, 2011


OMG but this tattoo is wrong in so many ways

Worst. Easter. Ever.
see more Ugliest Tattoos

Angels and Demons
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some things just cant be unseen... but on a funny note i was listening to the song "stupid cupid" when i saw this one :P

Saturday, April 30, 2011


what can i say? I saw this posted in a yahoo group and had to share cause it's just too funny :)

What gender is it?
If you're like most people, common everyday items look neutral to you. But what you may not know is that many of them have a gender. For example.........

1) Ziploc Bags -- Male, because they hold everything in but you can
see right through them.

2) Copier -- Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and often it's over inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft and squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000
years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Truths for Mature humans

i found this on the internet ( )and had to laugh and make a few of my own comments about the truth of it :)

1. i think part of a best friend's should be to immediately clear you computer history if you dies

2. nothing sucks more than that moment during and argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. i totally take back all those times i didn't want to nap when i was younger ( i love a good nap nowadays, and will take one when i can including while on city bus zzzz)

4.there is a great need for a sarcasm font

5. how the hell are you suppose to fold a fitted sheet? ( i quit even trying wadding has worked for 36 years and will continue to work well for my need :P)

6. was learning cursive really necessary? (my writing is not legible either way)

7 map quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure i know how to get out of my neighborhood (the creator has obviously never met my boyfriend)

8. obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. i cant remember the last time i wasn't at least kind of tired ( i may have been a toddler at the time)

10. bad decisions make good stories (not really, they make hilarious stories LOL)

11. you never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (usually strikes when i realize that my to do list for the next hour is long enough to take me all year and i just say fuck it )

12. can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after blue ray? i don't want to have to restart my collection ... again

13. i'm always slightly terrified when i exit out of word and it asks me if i want to say any changes to my ten- page technical report that i swear i did not make any change to.. (this is where i'm going CHANGES? WHAT CHANGES?)

14. "do not machine wash or tumble dry" means i will never wash this - ever ( is it sad that i outgrew that and do not machine wash is not ignore in favor of " fuck it i'm gonna chuck it in anyway" :P)

15. i hate when i just miss a call by the last rig (hello? Hello? Fuck it!), but when i immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. what did you do after i didn't answer? drop the phone and run away? (phone tag is a whole new level of fun now that we have voice mail and text

16 i hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. what a waste

17. i keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so i know not to answer to answer when they call. (isn't that what the caller ID is for?)

18. i think the freezer deserves a light as well

19. i disagree with kay jewelers. i would bet on any given friday or saturday night more kisses begin with miller lite than kay ( rum is a good choice to)

20. i wish google maps had an "avoid ghetto" routing option. (LOL i can find ghetto on my own thank you)

21. sometimes, i'll watch a movie that i watched when i was younger and suddenly realize i had no idea what the heck was going on when i first saw it. (happpens with music too )

22. i would rather try to carry 10 overloaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. the only time i look forward to a red light is when i'm trying to finish a text.

24. i have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. (hence a few extra pounds have made it onto my person)

25. how many times is it appropriate to say "what?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? (jacob is good for about 3 whats before he gets pissed)

26. i love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. stay strong, brothers and sisters

27. shirts get dirty. underwear gets dirty. pants? pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year? ( its amazing middle schoolers are smarter than i was at that age but by the time they graduate high school they cant even tie their own shoes. WTF?)

29. there's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning you chair back a little too far. ( goes hand in hand with the feeling you get when you lean forward in a chair with wheels and the floor says hello)

30. as a driver i hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian i hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, i always hate bicyclists. (AMEN)

31. sometimes i'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey - but i'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 second, eyes closed, first time, every time! (except my boyfriend who can barely find the snooze button with his eyes open, usually doesn't find the damn button till he has to lean out of bed cause he knocked it off the night stand for the third time)