Found this while using stumbleupon and thought Id share not only cause its funny but cause scarily enough I've actually used some of them either as they are or in some variation
http://marvin.cs.uidaho.edu/~heckendo/usefulPhrases.html here is the website where I found it
Some Useful Condescending Phrases
Some useful phrases to use as an Evil Overlord as given by Steve Meredith. These humorous cuts were originally listed as useful phrases to use around work but they probably only work well if you are a Evil Overlord(TM).
1.Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2.The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3.I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4.Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5.I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6.I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8.I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9.I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10.I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11.It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12.Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13.No, my powers can only be used for good.
14.How about never? Is never good for you?
15.I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16.You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
17.I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
18.I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
19.I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20.Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21.My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
22.It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
23.At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24.You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25.I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26.Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
I've use 3, 5, 9, 12, 14,16, 18, 20 and 23. some more often than others, I'll have to admit Iv use 9 (duct tape one) and 12 (about being satan's agent, or sometimes just satans spawn) and 18 (being out of my mind) frequently