LOL someone posted this and it seriously tickled my funny bone ,, could be cause i am currently having PMS myself... the last one fits
13 Things PMS Stands For
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
.........
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8.. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one:
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Monday, July 18, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
second best husband by penny jordan
Book review, just because I can. I am currently trying to read my way through my very large collection of books. Some will go on ebay because I just plain didnt like it and some because I've outgrown. Others will stay in my collection and just be counted.
just last night I finished reading Second-Best husband by Penny Jordan.
Apparently I havent completely outgrown the romance genre. Penny wrote a good story here. Found myself laughing at main characters confusion over the feelings the male lead evoked in her. the characters were written in such a manner that I felt emotions while reading. the main male character often gave me a sense that he knew something that the female didnt.
This one will be kept.
count so far --- 1 ebay --- 1 kept
just last night I finished reading Second-Best husband by Penny Jordan.
Apparently I havent completely outgrown the romance genre. Penny wrote a good story here. Found myself laughing at main characters confusion over the feelings the male lead evoked in her. the characters were written in such a manner that I felt emotions while reading. the main male character often gave me a sense that he knew something that the female didnt.
This one will be kept.
count so far --- 1 ebay --- 1 kept
Thursday, July 14, 2011
dead parrot
LOL gotta love humor, people send my funny shit in my email all the time todays bust a gut laugh was from this one. what a round about way to get to the point
The Dead Parrot
At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead".
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor . He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"
"Yes, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom Wangi Exhibition Grade Stock.
SILENCE... LONG SILENCE...VERY LONG SILENCE.
"Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep shit."
The Dead Parrot
At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead".
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor . He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"
"Yes, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom Wangi Exhibition Grade Stock.
SILENCE... LONG SILENCE...VERY LONG SILENCE.
"Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep shit."
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
LOL
got this in my email and loved it. As someone who's not overly fond of dogs (still a little leery of anything than barks and bites) the first one is my most favorite.
Apparently these are excerpts from some UK classifieds:
You have to appreciate British humor!
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!.
FREE PUPPIES.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel.
1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 GAY bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
**** And the WINNER is… ****
FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
And by the way: Statement of the Century
From the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker, Billy Connolly:
"If women are so bloody perfect at multi-tasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
Apparently these are excerpts from some UK classifieds:
You have to appreciate British humor!
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!.
FREE PUPPIES.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel.
1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 GAY bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
**** And the WINNER is… ****
FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
And by the way: Statement of the Century
From the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker, Billy Connolly:
"If women are so bloody perfect at multi-tasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
Monday, July 11, 2011
OOPS
see more funny videos, and check out our Yo Dawg lols!
LOL someone should have probably thought that out beforehand
BOOKS!!
So I've decided to read my way thru my book collection. To anyone who has seen my collection yes I realize that it will take me forever. :) I own alot of books, probably in the thousands. I've been reading and collecting since I was in highschool.
Since I'm bored i thought I'd review some of the books as i read them and decide what to do. Some of the ones that I've outgrown or just dont like (I havent even read all them cause I tend to buy in bulk) :) some I will sell on ebay and most will be kept.I will be using this as a way to actually count my books. :) Last time i counted like 6 or 7 years ago i had over 3000 books, wonder how much they have multiplied?
First book: Relative attraction by celia Scott.
This book was one of the harlequin romance books that I enjoyed as a teenager.
The writing was ok but I just had trouble getting into the book this time. The characters did not really reach out and grab me. I didnt really feel the emotions of the characters. Found it to be a little dry. This ended up being one for ebay.
count: 1 - ebay
anyone interested in seeing what i have in ebay - http://myworld.ebay.com/shazzump
Since I'm bored i thought I'd review some of the books as i read them and decide what to do. Some of the ones that I've outgrown or just dont like (I havent even read all them cause I tend to buy in bulk) :) some I will sell on ebay and most will be kept.I will be using this as a way to actually count my books. :) Last time i counted like 6 or 7 years ago i had over 3000 books, wonder how much they have multiplied?
First book: Relative attraction by celia Scott.
This book was one of the harlequin romance books that I enjoyed as a teenager.
The writing was ok but I just had trouble getting into the book this time. The characters did not really reach out and grab me. I didnt really feel the emotions of the characters. Found it to be a little dry. This ended up being one for ebay.
count: 1 - ebay
anyone interested in seeing what i have in ebay - http://myworld.ebay.com/shazzump
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